Go away Tate
by MrFarr
Summary: Violet asks Tate to go away after the death of her mother. Tate's immediate reactions to the words.. "Go away, Tate." Can he live with the banishment she's sentenced him to? Can she? More chapters to come.
1. Tate

_You're all I want.. You're all I HAVE!_

He could hear his own sobs echoing through the walls of the basement. He'd come straight here after she's asked him to leave, after she's said the unthinkable.. she'd banished him. Asked him to go away, and in doing so forsaken him from her life. From the life they had built together. Simple days and simple nights. Just spending time together, playing scrabble, listening to music.. With her, his light. He'd often imagined their future, if they ever were given one. Wondered if he would forever bask in the simple beauty of what she was, what she meant to him or rather if every day he would discover new and more alluring things to love. Neither mattered now. She was gone.

His hands clutched tightly into fists. His body now curled fetal on the floor. "No! No! NO NO NO NO NO!" he sucked in air and tried to catch himself, only to find more tears and sobbed. No breath, only acid air. Stinging his lungs like she'd stung his heart. Shriveled up and used. He rocked himself forward onto his knees and then his feet. Waves rocked through him like fire, not knowing which route to take, he paced back and forth the floor of the basement.

"No." He hissed through his teeth, "No. No. No." white hot rage filled him. He didn't notice the first blow he'd delivered. He didn't even notice the second or third, or forth or any for that matter until he heard the bones of his fist cracking into the brick wall echoing through the empty room. Still he did not cease. He couldn't. If he could not have her, she would still be here. Her presence forever taunting him of the mistakes he had made and how close he had come to salvation, to the fact that it would never again be his. That he was forsaken. Outcast. He snarled and scream one desperate roar and the wall now coated in his blood.

His body went limp as he slumped on the floor, defeated. Scooting his back against the wall he cradled his head in his hands, also bloodied by the ordeal, and wept. Wept until he didn't know the hour or the day. Wept until he was more lost than he'd ever been. His one guiding light ripped away.


	2. Violet

_You're all I want.. You're all I HAVE!_

She clutched her eyes tight and just like that, he was gone. No grand love scene, no kiss goodbye.  
She felt a hole her heart the moment she opened her eyes. just a space where he stood only moments ago, mocking her by the silence of the room. The stillness of the air.

She let out a sob, and collapsed to the floor in a pile. She had to do this, Tate was a monster. A dark man. How could anyone love a monster? How could she? She asked herself this again and again. Feeding the silent war that raged within her for minutes, for hours, until she lost count of time and measure.

_You're sick for loving him.._

_But I don't love him now.. I couldnt. Not after the things he's done._

_You do, you always will._

_No! He's a monster, he'll always be a monster.._

_You'll never care about what he did, not really.. keep telling yourself that you do. It doesn't matter._

_But he's gone now.. I.. I made him go. I had to._

_You had to? You had to banish the man you love who's given so much of himself to change his heart and soul? To change for you? Into the man you wanted him to be._

_Tate.._ She clutched her knees to her chest and rocked herself back and forth. Wishing more than anything that he were here to hold her. To comfort her, as he always did. Even when it was him she feared most.

_He's no longer a demon, and you threw him in hell anyways. Threw his bleeding body to the dogs and ripped his heart out to stomp like an ember that was too early to flame! You.. you did this to him._

_No.._

_If you thought he was a monster then, Imagine what you've made of him. Imagine these things and know that because of what you've done and who he'll become his soul will be eternally damned._

_No! _

She could not let this stand, could not spend one more moment without this man. Her star crossed monster, her knight in the darkness. She bound to her feet and shuffled as quickly as she could towards the basement wiping tears from her eyes, slipping across the smooth wooden hallways like he was the only oxygen in the house. She ran to him, her heart pounding like a voodoo drum, calling out to him.


	3. Where we belong

She bound through the house until she reached the door to the basement. That ominous space below the main level staircase. Clumsily she pawed at the knob until finally with success she threw open the door.

In 3 steps she was down the stairs and froze staring at him, knowing not the right words to say, a canvas of apology and shame strewn about her face. Her wide eyes unblinking at his crumpled frame in the corner.

Slowly he lifted his head to her, a gasp, and an air of tortured relief escaped him.

"Violet?" He sobbed.

"Oh god, Tate I'm sorry." her legs worked at last, she flew across the room to him and collapsed where he sat. She wove her fingers into his hair and held his head against her chest, hoping to sooth him. His body continued to wrack with tears. "I'm, so sorry baby shh I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean it.. not ever"

Planting small kisses and pressing his face against her she shushed him into silence. "Shh... I'm so sorry Tate.."

-  
Neither had moved from this spot of or spoken for what seemed like an eternity. Only she continued to rock him lightly and hold his head folded into her arms. Pressing him as near her heart as possible and stroking his hair, stopping only to shush him should he cry again, and to plant tiny kisses behind his ear. Their breathing slowed into black silence filled the room.

"You told me to go away." His words we black. They seemed to crack the silence and echo through her brain with increasing volume. Then faded into only a whisper. "I begged you.." His voice cracked.  
She cringed at the memory of his twisted face at her words. His pleas.. _you're all that I want.. you're all that I HAVE.._ She shook her head in hopes of losing the vision. The pain in his eyes, burned forever into her as she spoke her damning words.

"Oh God, Tate please, I was wrong." She kissed his head and sniffed inward, fighting sobs. "I, I couldn't live without you for five hours let alone a lifetime, don't you understand? It doesn't matter what you've done or who you are or any sickness that's ever plagued you at night.. I love you so much. I wanted those things to matter enough for me to make you leave because I felt like a monster. The things you've done Tate.." Her eyes closed in an attempt to break his spell on her, from where he lay he wouldn't see her face but she felt the burn none the less. His eyes like fire always, questioning, wondering. She turned her head down without opening them. "I should hate you for them.. But I cant. I wanted you to leave because I don't. Because I care about you so much that mass murder can be overlooked. What kind of a person am I?"

Again, the silence thickened in the room until he broke it.  
"Good person.. a brave one. Who follows her heart, and forgives." He licked his lips quickly, sat up and continued. "Violet you care so much, about all these people you didn't even know. You're not the monster.. you're just in love with him. You're so much more than a person to me.." he shook his head. "Perfect." His eyes were full of wonder, his brow heavy with concern. "I can be a big enough man to understand." His eyes shifted downward, unable to withstand the scrutiny of her gaze. "To learn how to let you be without me."

"No!" She practically yelled, "Never, do you understand? Never again I need you. Forever."  
He threw his mouth to hers hungrily, pouring into it everything he wanted to say but couldn't. Softly pressing his hand against the back of her head in an attempt to get all of her. To consume her like he always felt he needed. For her to be one with him, his hear and his soul with his body at last though his body be a damned spirit he didn't care. She was everything. His salvation and his chariot to the gates. The bloodied arm he'd been holding behind himself since she came back for him wrapped itself around her waist, squeezing her tighter still.

Finally he broke away, his brow furrowed in pain and wanton betrayal. "Don't leave me Violet.."  
This time she leaned into him, slowly brushing her thumb over his tear and dust streaked cheek.  
"I know now that I can't.. that if I could I wouldn't want to. Everything is different now, understand?"Her brow furrowed, "I love you.."  
A small sound escaped him, his breath caught in his throat as this time she slowly leaned into him to placed her mouth on his. Her eyes flicking back and forth between the two small fleshy pillows and his deep black eyes with intent. Passion and love and fire all at once. Eternity.

When they met at last she felt she was home, as his tongue slipped easily between her lips and he pinned her body against his she breathed a sign of relief, they were exactly where they belonged.

To be cont..


End file.
